ABOUT TRAUMA
Whether or not you recognize what happened to you (or is happening to you) as trauma or abuse, the painful event, situation, or relationships have already done their damage. Because of this, the trauma might be dictating your current choices and controlling or hijacking your body into survival responses (such as fight/flight, fear/freeze, or numb and disconnect) that impact some, or all aspects, of your life. This can make you feel like you’re going crazy. All that pain, sense of powerlessness, betrayal, triggers, shock, despair, terror, rage, guilt, hatred, confusion—and perhaps even loss of love, attachment, and trust—can be overwhelming and create chaos and utter turmoil. All these intense and tangled-up emotions can result in severe anxiety, depression, nightmares, flashbacks, and emotional distractions (such as addictions, self-injury, dissociation, hyper sexuality, loss of appetite or compulsive eating, etc). You can feel constant self-contempt, shame, unworthiness, the burden of secrets, sexual confusion, and a loss of confidence and dignity.
Complex PTSD is similar to PTSD. While PTSD typically comes from a single event, complex PTSD, results from a series of events or a set of long-term conditions. Instead of one instance of abuse, a person might suffer for years in an abusive relationship. Rather than being caught up in a battle, a soldier survives constant warfare or years of multiple deployments.
A growing body of research suggests that Complex Trauma can appear in the children and grandchildren of the traumatized. How so? Trauma can leave a chemical mark on a person’s genes, which can then be passed down to future generations. This mark does not cause a genetic mutation, but it does alter the mechanism by which the gene is expressed. This alteration is called an epigenetic change.
While our genes play an important role in our health, so does our ongoing stress, high levels of cortisol, and traumatic experience. Unlike genetic changes, epigenetic changes are reversible and can be changed through diet, exercise, behavior, and environment.
Healing trauma breaks the cycle of passing trauma into future generations. Our retreats provide the space to learn how to self-regulate, integrate past painful experiences, and develop a core sense of self that is not rooted in negative thoughts and emotions.
Destination Healing
It’s no secret that people work through trauma in different ways and at different paces. No two survivors will heal in the same way.
Although every survivor’s path is unique, there are some common stages we all go through. It is rarely a direct path to recovery. Instead, we might have spent years disconnected from the truth of what has been damaged, or stuck in denial or avoidance. Sometimes a life event or news story triggers our memories and emotions and rapidly brings into focus a profound awareness of the injustice and violations we experienced, and we promise ourselves there will be no turning back! Sometimes the pain of physical and emotional symptoms may force us into treatment—the cost of not dealing with the trauma can transform itself into painful symptoms, autoimmune disorders, and diseases that scream for attention! At other times, the high price of addiction, used over the years as a quick method to flee the pain, might now be putting our very lives at risk. As long as ambivalence about our worth has not been overshadowed by despair, we might even commit to the process of healing with determination and excitement.
At times we might move from stage to stage too fast. This results in bouncing back and forth—from rage to acceptance— only to discover that we completely bypassed working through the grief! Or we may realize that we have more anger work to manage than we initially thought. All of this can feel like we are going backwards or not making any progress.
Perhaps we might have rushed to forgiveness without doing any of the heavy lifting of working through specific memories. As the trauma is processed and integrated with memory, a physiological response occurs in the body. We can experience a release of powerful, unspoken emotions followed by peace. Throughout life, we may need to revisit some of these stages again, or deal with another aspect of the abuse that we never knew existed until later in our journey.
It would be great if all the ingredients for healing were provided in one recipe for us to create as we measure out each injury and the impact it has had on our relationships and overall functioning. We could stir our grief into the stew and salt it with our tears. As we sift through the fine particles of the flour of memories, we would have a place to toss in the bitter herbs without allowing them to overpower the batter. Stirring up our hearts can feel overwhelming, desperate, like it’s a fruitless effort, or like we’re simply going in crazy-making circles. Sometimes it truly is.
This is why a roadmap with others can be helpful. With God beside us to love and reveal his presence through each challenging step, we go through our stories together, dismantle the isolation and secrets that weave within our journey, and unite in the suffering of others.
This is our recipe for our unique retreats, each designed for different kinds of traumatic experiences. Every exercise is uniquely structured to take you into many levels of awareness and feeling. Your capacity and level of readiness to take each step will be respected, and you will be the one in control of what you are ready to disclose and what you would rather privately journal. We respect your wishes and recognize that you alone are the expert in how you need to heal. Your choices will never be taken from you. We can support and encourage you throughout the journey and even challenge you to experience something new, but honestly, you are invited to march to the beat of your own heart as you explore each trail leading back to your soul, your feelings, your emotions, and your truth. This is our pledge to you!
Our retreat facilitators and therapists are committed to making your recovery our highest priority. We create an environment of safety and protection for you to join with others and enter into a sacred journey that has been designed to minister to the deepest tender spots in your heart and soul.
But today, we invite you to make a decision to embark on a new journey! A Journey to repair the damage, to heal, and to move forward in a way that is not consumed by the tragedies of what you went through.
You can triumph over a legacy of trauma in order to become free to love. Your willingness and determination to discover your own life as a source of love is key. With that, you can maintain the wisdom and moral fortitude to manage your life through the greatest challenges.